Through the Waters: A Story of Valor, Faith, and Redemption

It’s Thanksgiving morning, and I’m sitting at my kitchen table with my daughter Dafni.

“Hey Dimitra, we want to pick up Zion and bring him to Barb’s house for Thanksgiving, that way you and Jake can have a break and get some rest,” Dafni explains into the phone.

Suddenly she jumps a little in her chair. “Oh! Right now!? You mean it just happened?!” she says, eyes wide.

“Dafni, what just happened? What’s going on?” I ask.

“Dimitra’s water just broke. Just now.

“Ok, that’s exciting! You will definitely have this baby within 24 hours now, no matter what! So we are coming now to pick up Zion. See you soon.”

She hangs up and looks at me with a watery twinkle in her eyes. “I can’t believe that happened while I was on the phone with her.”

A huge sense of relief washes over me. This is such encouraging news.

With Dimitra’s first pregnancy, she had her heart set on a natural birth at home. She hired all the right people and took wonderful care of herself. She even saw a chiropractor who specialized in pregnancy.

Unfortunately Zion stayed sitting up straight in breach position, wedged deeply into her right side. She tried everything advised to get him to flip, and he wouldn't. Her body never went into labor, and on the day she hit 42 weeks, she admitted defeat, went to the hospital, and reluctantly submitted to IVs, narcotics, and a life-saving cesarean. She was too out of it to even hold her baby and felt traumatized by it all.

She faced disappointment from a birth that didn't go her way, while being very grateful for modern medicine that saved both her and Zion. It took months to shake loose of the stain this left on her soul, but she eventually healed and delighted in raising her beautiful son.

So hearing her water broke now, two days before she’d be forced to admit herself and likely end up with a second C-section, felt miraculous. It is nearly impossible to find doctors who will perform a natural birth after a c-section, but Dimitra had found a midwife who named her business Redemption Birth, because she specialized on VBACs.

The Thanksgiving Vigil

Within the hour, Dimitra confirmed that her contractions had started very strong and she was actually in labor. We took Zion, met up with Jake’s family at Barb’s house, and tried to have Thanksgiving dinner. We all were hugely distracted. Every time a phone buzzed, we all grabbed our own in unison, expecting a picture of a beautiful pink baby. Despite our texting questions, we heard absolutely nothing. We talked amongst ourselves about how long we thought it would take, reliving our own birth stories and trying to avoid anything negative or traumatic.

Finally, after an awkward dinner, all our phones buzzed at once. Jake wrote in the group chat, “Please bring Dimitra some dinner right away, the midwife wants her to get some energy before labor progresses too far.”

All at once, like a precision military unit, Barb, Grace, and Bella leapt to their feet and began stuffing Tupperware with mashed potatoes, turkey, stuffing, and all the other carbs we had enjoyed. John and I grabbed Zion’s things, purses, backpacks, food, and ran out the door like we were heading into battle. Waving hands over our heads and yelling thank you, we buckled in Zion and headed to Dimitra’s house—birthing ground zero.

To our disappointment, everything was very calm and normal there. Dimitra stood in the kitchen waiting for food. She said her doula was on the way and the midwife would come later. I had hoped for more of an imminent birth scene after five hours of labor, but everything was just pretty normal.

We left with instructions to keep our phones unmuted in case we had to come and be with Zion in the middle of the night. I could feel myself tighten with the understanding of what this could mean.

Prayers in the Dark

I couldn't sleep the entire night, listening for notifications or texts. I picked up my phone several times to see only a familiar screen with no messages. I watched the hours pass, darting in and out of personal torment and trying to sleep. Dark thoughts chased me around all night as I offered desperate prayers. I imagined the worst, and then forced myself to imagine the best.

At 3 a.m. I messaged Jake for un update with no reply. I thought, “Either labor has stopped and they are asleep, or it's so intense he can’t answer his phone.”

Finally at 5 a.m., Jake messaged to come at 7 to pick up Zion. The midwife had gone home to sleep and would come back when labor picked up again. Poor Dimitra, awake all night with contractions and still so far from the finish line. I texted her asking if she’d dilated at all. She replied, “I don’t know. The midwife couldn’t find my cervix.”

What?! How can that be? I decided that instant that this midwife was an idiot and finding cervixes is Birthing 101.

When we picked up Zion, they were inside their room with the doula and the door shut. So we took Zion to our house and waited nervously. By 10 a.m. there was still no word from Jake, but family chatter was exploding. Speculations were flying all around as each of us messaged each other the little bits and pieces of info trying to form a complete picture.

I shared Dimitra’s message about the missing cervix. Barb agreed with me that the midwife was a quack and Dimitra was not in good hands. We plotted a kidnapping to the hospital and surrendered the imminent C-section that would follow. We agreed a living, healthy mom and baby was better than the risk of a home birth with a missing cervix.

I had messaged a few close friends to pray for us and my inner peace because I couldn't shake the dark thoughts I was having. That was my baby girl. Was she in too much pain to think clearly? Too idealistic to realize the danger? Dimitra would never give up easily, and Jake would honor her wishes.

Faith vs. Fear

I couldn't take it any longer. I felt so powerless. The hospital is right across the street. This could end in less than an hour, and both of them would be in the safe harbor of modern medicine and all of their machines. Barb and I conspired to send messages to Jake and Dimitra compelling them to go to the hospital.

Friends I asked to pray for us were writing saying they think she should go to the hospital. One of my friends, who watched Dimitra grow up, told me her story of a planned home birth that ended in needing to be induced at the hospital. Another friend, who was a physician, told Barb this was risky and Dimitra should definitely go to the hospital.

I sent my text in the hopes of getting through and for Jake to convince Dimitra to go get professional medical help. We received nothing for the next few hours except silence. My dark and terrifying thoughts continued as I tried to make Zion his lunch.

Finally at 11 a.m., we got a text from Jake to the group chat. “Great news! Dimitra is dilated to 7, so shouldn't be long now! Midwife is here.”

What a relief! My heart settled, and I began to feel guilty about my text. So she found her cervix and all is well. I notified everyone from “Team Hospital” of the 7 cm dilation. I calculated that by 2 p.m., well within 24 hours of her water breaking, we’d have a baby. We all celebrated. I stayed close to my phone while playing with Zion, waiting.

But 2 p.m. passed. Then the evening. Still nothing. My nerves and dark thought began to rise up again.

I remembered that days ago when I was praying, I heard God tell me to read Isaiah 43. I read, “Do not fear, I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name; (Valor) you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am your God.”

I re-read it, and it gave me peace for a moment. A few days back, I had told Dimitra what God showed me and how the waters reminded me of birth. She shared that God showed her the exact same verse, and she had it as a screensaver on her phone.

I hung onto this all through the day and evening.

At 6 p.m., Jake wrote in the group chat that Dimitra was in the birthing chair and beginning to push. I was supposed to bring Zion home at 7:30 and put him to bed.

I realized we would most likely see Dimitra and Valor before Zion’s bedtime. I waited, barely able to contain my excitement. I constantly checked my phone for pictures, announcements, or 7:30—whatever would come sooner.

Just as I was gathering all of Zion’s things to bring him over, I got a text from Jake: “Dimitra is making a lot of involuntary noises. We have the door shut. Don't let him come in, I don't want him scared.”

Okay, so she has been pushing for an hour and a half now and is making loud, scary noises. Why is it taking so long?

As we drove over to the house, I recounted my birth with Dimitra. I had pushed for three hours, and because she was coming out face-up, eyeballs first, it was exceptionally difficult. I began to swell very dramatically in the last hour, and the doctor threatened me with a c-section if the vacuum didn't work.

But the midwife doesn’t have a vacuum. What if Dimitra swells? What if his head is too big? She is so tiny. What if he gets stuck and begins to crash? All of the panic began to torment me again. I realized this is the exact moment of most distress when emergencies happen.

Cradled by Peace

When I told Zion he couldn’t see his mom, he threw a full tantrum—sobbing, pounding on the locked door, screaming, “I want my mommy!” I knew Dimitra could probably hear him. My heart was breaking. I knew that his tantrum couldn't be reasoned with, and this was going to get ugly.

I still tried, through his crying and screaming and batting at the locked door. I said, “Zion, if you can listen to Yiayia, I will explain everything to you about your mom so you can understand.”

By some kind of miracle, he softened and stopped crying. I pulled him into me and hugged him. I told him, “Everything is going to be okay. Your mommy is in God’s hands and is working really hard to push your baby brother out, so she can’t hug you right now. Very soon, she will be holding him and hugging him, and you can go see her when you wake up. Don't worry. Everything will be perfect.”

Zion hugged me and said, “Mama is pushing baby brother out with her hands.”

I put my adorable grandson in his bed, and he asked me to cuddle him. We cuddled and prayed, and he asked me to tell him a story. I started telling him a story, but he kept interrupting and changing it. So Zion told me a story about a squirrel who was collecting nuts. He put them in a tree, and the monster trucks came to take the nuts away.

I kissed him good night and left his room, wanting so badly to go into Dimitra’s room and help somehow, but I knew that I really couldn't and she didn't need my toddler energy. I realized that talking to Zion helped me to be slightly more positive.

Back home, I was exhausted from not sleeping the night before. I kept my phone on again waiting for news. I spent 9 p.m. until 10 p.m. watching YouTube videos, trying to keep my mind off of what could happen. At 10, I tried to sleep, tossing and turning and tortured with my thoughts.

It's been three and half hours and still no birth. How could she keep pushing all of this time after two days of labor? How could she have the strength?

I kept praying fragments of prayers about strength and courage, and vitality and peace. Then, around 10:20, I felt my prayers engage. I saw the birth canal. I saw Valor’s head. I began praying, “I have summoned you by name, as you pass through the waters I will be with you.” I prayed this again and again.

I could see his head sliding through with the waves of each contraction. Then, in a moment, I could feel in my soul a release, a breakthrough, a grand entrance, a passage. I felt a surge of joy from Dimitra. I picked up my phone to see if there was a message.

Nothing.

I sunk into a deep, velvety peace I hadn't known in days. Only two minutes later, I heard the text notification. I grabbed my phone and saw a picture of Dimitra lying on the bathroom floor, holding perfect and beautiful Valor on her chest. She had the most radiant and gloriously victorious smile on her face.

Strength and Valor

Profound accomplishment. The ultimate redemption. She looked powerful and confident.

I burst into tears, so overwhelmed with pride for Dimitra. Her strength and courage moved me deeply. I was so weak and tormented. I felt helpless. I could offer my daughter nothing.

In the midst of it all, in her darkest moment of doubt, I sent her a text urging her to give up, to throw in the towel, that her faith meant nothing, to give up on her dream. I felt so ashamed of myself. I let all of my worst fears overtake me, yet Dimitra and Jake were solid and strong.

To have valor, one is courageous and bold, as in battle. To have strength of mind in regard to danger. Valor is that quality which enables someone to encounter danger with firmness, personal bravery, courage, prowess, intrepidity.

Jake and Dimitra ushered Baby Valor into this world with true valor.

“I have summoned you by name. As you pass through the waters, I will be with you.”

What moment in your life has required true valor?

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