The Dream That Changed My Life for Eternity

I look over and see a clock on the wall that reads 3:15. I don't know where I am.
Suddenly, a frantic-looking nurse starts pulling tubes from my nose. I start to gag and try to cough, but a sharp stabbing pain begins in my stomach and shoots up my chest into my throat. I can't breathe.
I see my mother there crying. She is holding her tears in and clutching her chest. I’m starting to get some air. I am able to cough, but my head feels like it is splitting open every time I do. I start to feel how wrecked my body is, like I have some kind of hideous flu. I’m nauseous, aching everywhere, and coughing. I start to cry, but I don't know why.
Over the next few minutes, I begin to remember what happened. I search for my last memory. I was in a park with my brother and his friends—all several years older than me. I was with my friend, and we tried our best to fit in and be cool.
I just turned 15, and summer is just starting. My brother and some of his friends went off to Pink Cadillac, a night club nearby in Waikiki. Me and my friend don't have fake IDs like they do, so we stayed at the park. A few of my brother’s friends were there with a bottle of 151-proof Bacardi. I didn't know what that meant, but they were all making a big deal out of it and saying it was super strong.
All of these guys are super edgy and cool and have a fake “cult” they promote called the “Ronald McDonald Religion.” They all read edgy Marxist books and have made up some kind of satirical cult reminiscent of Clockwork Orange. They were kidding around saying me and my friend had to take “communion” and had us lie down on the hood of the car as they poured the 151 Bacardi down our throats. I was a willing participant and gulped it down, hoping to impress. My friend spit it out and didn’t want anymore. This is my last memory.
Saved by a Miracle

My mom touches my face and can't stop crying. She pulls something from under my pillow, and I see a small wood painting of Jesus in her hand. She shakes it at me and says through her tears, “He saved you! You are supposed to be dead!”
I’m crying and can only imagine what has happened and what I put my mother through. This isn't the first time I’ve gone off the rails. In my very short years of rebellion between the ages of 12 and 15, I have snuck out multiple times, stolen a friend’s parents’ car for the night…sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll.
We have ridden around in cars with guys we don't know, who are high on LSD, driving on the wrong side of the freeway for kicks. I’ve woken up in strange places, and Sid and Nancy was my favorite movie. I pretty much had a death wish and had zero regard for my parents’ respect. As my mother put it, I was a rotten teenager.
“You have been in a coma for the last 18 hours. They told us your blood alcohol level was .46 and you would most likely not make it!” My mother sobbed. “I prayed all night. Father Peter was here all night praying for you. You are alive because a miracle happened!” She is shaking from emotion. I’m crying too. My throat burns from the tubes being pulled and from holding back my tears. I am sick, sorry, guilty, and ashamed all at once. I have so many questions, I don't know where to start.
“How did I get here?” I ask.
“Your brother saved your life! You have your brother to thank! He found you passed out in a car. He said he knew the moment he saw you something was wrong. He pinched your cheek, and you didn't move. He pulled out your tongue, and it stayed out! So he called us and told us, and we told him to call you an ambulance. When you got here, you were a code blue and they pumped your stomach. You went into a coma, and they had to have you breathe on machines. I thought I would never see you again. I thought I lost my little girl!”
My mother puts her head in her hands and cries deeper and louder than I have ever heard her cry. I feel like I’m breaking in two.
Through my tears and sore throat, I squeak out a soft, “I'm so sorry, Mom. I didn't know that could happen. I didn't know…”
I didn't know someone could die from drinking too much alcohol. I didn't realize how easy it was to permanently break your mother’s heart. I still feel so drunk and dizzy and sick. I can hardly grasp what happened.
A Vision of the Divine

They move me to a different room, and my mother leaves. I have to meet with a psychiatrist and stay one more night in the hospital. I lie in the bed with a throbbing icy headache, a burning stomach, and a sore throat. I feel guilty and selfish.
Then I remember my dream.
I was in an underground tunnel waiting for a subway to come. It was cold and smelled like urine. Garbage was blowing around me, and newspaper caught against my legs. I couldn't move. I was frozen to the ground. I wanted to run, but I couldn't. I heard the subway coming, and the sound was getting louder and faster. Louder and louder and faster and faster. As it came near, the sound got more and more frantic and loud—so loud I wanted to scream.
It felt like the subway ran right through me, and then there was silence.
When I opened my eyes and looked down the tunnel, I saw a bright glowing light. I floated towards it and stood at the end of a cliff. I looked out, and about 15 feet below me, I saw crystal-clear aqua blue water with a moving cloudy mist over it.
I turned around and fell backward into it. I floated in the warm, peaceful water as it filled me with an indescribable love. I had never known love that powerful and pure. My parents loved me, but not like this. It was love that was complete and total acceptance. A love that knew everything about me. It knew my future and my past. It felt euphoric and blissful. It felt eternal, like it would never leave or diminish. I knew this was God. This feeling I was experiencing was the living God.
I start crying again, alone in my hospital bed. I tell God I’m sorry. I didn't know. I was so stupid and arrogant. I didn't care about my life. I didn't care if I hurt my parents. I didn't think about my future. I didn't know God was real. I didn't know love like that.
I don't know who Father Peter is, or how my mother has a wooden picture of Jesus. We aren't religious. Until that dream, I never thought about God or knew anything about God.
I want to talk about my dream with my mom but can't because I know I’ll cry and not be able to get the words out. I think about it all day. I want to get back to that water. The water changed me. I realized my life matters. It matters to my parents and brother and probably my friends. But my life matters even more to God. I have significance. God kept me alive for a reason. There is a purpose, a reason that I am here living this life. I know for the first time that God loves me. God really, truly loves me.
That's it. That's all that matters.
He moved heaven and earth to keep me alive. He gave me life, purpose, and a destiny.
I am beyond grateful.
What's the most meaningful dream you've ever had?
What a story. I’m so glad you survived it because I know you wouldn’t have touched me and so many others if you hadn’t.
I know what it feels like to have had a dream that totally changes you and your feelings.
I had already had one son and was pregnant with another . This pregnancy hadn’t lasted and at three months I miscarried with a partial molar pregnancy. Which has its own issues . I was in a bit of denial that this was real as I hadn’t had any symptoms of the miscarriage . I got a second opinion and blood tests which did indicate it was so.
I could accept it now. But the pain I felt of the loss was so immense. I would cry at the littlest thing. Inside my inner world I was dying in pain.
A couple months after I had this dream where there was a baby in a bubble floating on it stomach in the air. There was this beautiful teal green colour beneath and it transitioned into this amazing white light above it. Merging through the bubble. I got this almighty download/ feeling translated to me in my head that the baby was ok and that everything was good and as it should be. It was all ok . This immense peace came over every cell of my being and settled me all over. I felt like the emotion was now taken from me. I didn’t feel sad anymore I just didn’t. I can’t even bring myself to feel it anymore. It was gone instantly. I woke up and it still carried on . This emotion of sadness had been taken , lifted . It felt unreal and I felt so blessed to not have to carry this sadness anymore.
I’m so glad that you share these stories with us . I love them. I love the mastery program too . Thankyou for making it accessible to the world. When you had the program just in your shed I would tell myself one day I am going to go there and do art classes. But now you’ve made it possible for the world to access it. Thankyou so much . It’s changed my life. I love that I have found out about myself so much and I am tapping into this amazing river of information. Thankyou 🙏
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Elli Milan Art replied:
What an incredible story!! So beautiful! Thank you for sharing it. 💕
What an amazing and powerful story! God had a plan for you and you are touching peoples hearts.When I was 17 I had a death experience. I was laying on my bed thinking about my life and that something that i was searching for but had no idea what it was. I drifted off and woke up at the Doctors in an ice tub. Everyone thought I was gone but luckily I woke up. My life changed and I knew I was here for a purpose. I went to Taiwan five years ago and was initiated into the quan yin method of meditation by Supreme Master Ching Hai. I found my inner peace and elevated my spirituality. I’m so glad i joined the mastery program. I love it! Thank you Eli, so much for touching hearts and changing the world 💕 I had never painted before ….it’s absolutely thrilling to learn what I’m passionate about :)
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Elli Milan Art replied:
Wow! Incredible! I’m so glad you are enjoying the program.
Thanks for sharing your story! My rebellious years came later, but I had a vision. In this vision, I was in a well at the bottom and at the bottom there was all this horrible deformity and so I started trying to swim up and I wasn’t moving up, but then I got stuck in the middle where things were not great, but they weren’t so bad either, and all of a sudden, I see this hand reached through the top of the water, and I take it, and Jesus pulls me to the top of the water where it’s clean and free.
That Vision carried me through many years of addiction. Then it came true. Jesus truly did pull me to the top and I came clean and free. And now I have a purpose and a destiny.
I’m so glad that you were able to experience the love of God like that! His love is so life-changing! I know I’ve never been the same since!
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Elli Milan Art replied:
Wow! So powerful! Like the woman at the well, but you were in it!
Wow! What a powerful testimony!
And Isn’t that the truth, God’s love is everything! And’s so many, religious or not, miss it, just can’t comprehend it. I mean, we can never fully grasp it, but I’m so happy to hear that He showed you a glimpse of it all those years ago! Very beautiful Elli🤍 Thank you for sharing!!
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Elli Milan Art replied:
Yes. Gods love is EVERYTHING.
Wow! All I can think of was, what guts to live your life at 15 & take chances. I think 🤔 it’s what makes you fearless. If that didn’t happen you might not be the person you are today. It’s very surreal to imagine even for me what a traumatic experience and what a great brother you had who found you! Surely divine intervention!
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Elli Milan Art replied:
Yes! So grateful for him!
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