Free to Surrender: My Daughter's Greek Dream Wedding and Letting Go of Control

I'm pushing Dalia in a stroller, with Dafni and Dimitra walking beside me. I'm 32 years old and pregnant with my fourth child, Dino. I just found out he is a boy, and I am feeling blessed beyond measure.

I'm also feeling overwhelmed and terrified about these children I will raise. What if I create little monsters? What if I'm not paying attention, and one of them gets hurt? What if I can't balance everything? What if I spoil them or am too strict and squelch their spirit?

I felt the immense weight of the responsibility. It was so strong and so intimidating I started to panic. I had no confidence in my abilities whatsoever.

I had been connecting with God on these walks each day and felt the urgency to be close to Him while I sorted through my feelings of being a 32-year-old mom of four very small children. A few weeks before this, I had felt tremendous relief after completely turning my life over to God.

Every dream I had, every desire, and everything I touched, I decided to give to God. I knew God was much greater than I am. I had come to realize that any desire I had outside of Him was useless, and I only wanted to want whatever pertained to my destiny.

Raising God's Kids

As I walked with the girls, still feeling overwhelmed and incapable, I heard a gentle voice say, "Will you give them to me?" I knew immediately where all my stress and worry was coming from. I only thought I had given God everything, but I was holding back my kids. They were too precious to trust God with them. I knew that this was why I was still having anxiety and constantly feeling in over my head, as if at any moment everything would fall apart.

I still felt the need to control everything, and I channeled that need into the grip I had on my children. How could I really give them away to God? What did that mean exactly? Would I be absolved of all responsibility? If they turned out terrible, it would be no fault of my own because, after all, they were given to God. It would be His fault, right?

Finally, that very afternoon, as I walked through the quiet streets of my neighborhood in Arizona, I told God that I knew He would take better care of my children than I would, and I recognized that His destiny for them was the very best life they could have. I was only here to love them, teach them, and guide them. God was responsible for their well-being and their purpose. I felt my heart expand and my spirit light up as I realized, I did it. I fully released my kids to God.

Over the years, I learned how to take my part in raising God's kids. I sought heavenly guidance about their destinies. Are they meant to be artists? Should I encourage them to attend college? Would they grow up weird if they were homeschooled? Am I doing enough to show them how to find God for themselves?

I came to see myself less as a controller and more as a guide or caretaker, understanding that, ultimately, the results were beyond my control. My influence might last only a few years, but God's influence would last a lifetime.

Shock, Joy, and Destiny

Sixteen years later, I'm in my kitchen, and Dimitra bursts in excitedly.

"He's going to ask her to marry him!" I knew she was talking about Nathaniel and Dafni. Part of me was shocked—Dafni was only 18, so young—and I wasn't quite ready for this. But mostly, I was thrilled; they loved each other deeply and were clearly destined for a life of greatness together.

With two art retreats in Crete, Greece, just a month away, Dafni and Nathaniel decided they would get married in Crete. They were willing to give up a large wedding to seal their love in such a magical and beautiful place. Planning a wedding while hosting 12 artists in a retreat was not easy, but Dafni was a dream bride and held all her plans loosely, content with whatever the outcome.

As soon as we arrived at the property we were renting for the month, we knew it was the perfect wedding location—nestled high above a cliff with a sprawling grassy yard overlooking the Mediterranean Sea and shaded by large mulberry trees. The owner greeted us immediately, showing us his hillside garden. As he harvested fruits and vegetables, he quickly prepared a delightful picnic complete with his homemade wine, olive oil, and sea salt.

"Is it all right if we have our daughter's wedding here in a couple of weeks?" I asked, hopeful. He brightened up and said, "Yes! My daughter will help you plan it! And I will donate some wine!" His daughter connected us with local florists, musicians, and the owner of a nearby taverna for the reception. Everything came together seamlessly with very little effort. We even found a nearby beach house for my parents and their friends coming in for the wedding.

Magic and Marriage under the Mediterranean Sun

The next two weeks flew by, and we were completely absorbed in the art retreat and spending time with the artists. As the day came closer, everyone was offering help and ideas on how to decorate and make it special. The day before the wedding, we all went to the nearby city of Chania and tasked each person with going to get supplies. Jake and Dimitra had to buy champagne glasses; others were to get flowers, others fabric, and others decorations.

The next day, we all woke up early and decorated the already beautiful space, tying ribbons and flowers to the trees and the chairs. Dafni got ready in one room and Nathaniel in the other. After many happy tears, lots of pictures, and sweet exchanges between mother, daughter, grandma, sisters, brother…the beautiful moment came. Dafni and Nathaniel became one.

Their radiant smiles glistened in the sun, and the sweetness and innocence were unforgettable. After the ceremony, we toasted them, and each one of us blessed them with our heartfelt words of encouragement. They took some more pictures and spent some moments together under the golden sun, while the rest of us walked to the restaurant, listened to the live music, and waited for the newly married couple.

Dafni's Walk Into a New Life

The sounds of Crete echoed in the lyre and bouzouki and fed the atmosphere with the timeless enchantment of the village. The grape vines weaved through the lattice above the tables, peppering us with golden light. As the lively music continued, we all peered down the dirt road and saw Nathaniel coming, carrying Dafni in his arms through the field so her dress wouldn't get dirty. He gently put her down, and they walked the road toward us, holding hands.

As I watched their silhouettes and the light dance between them, I knew our child was gone. All of my hopes for her were now mine alone. She is her own woman now and will make her own choices and design her own path or choose to follow God's. It was the final piece of letting my child go into God's hands. I was no longer her caretaker. My moments of influence were over. My heart ached with loss while it rejoiced with joy, pride, hope, and promise.

A Shift of Influence

I felt my participation as a mom shift in this moment. I had three more children who would leave me and step into their own lives. Now, the ways I would touch their lives could only come as an invitation. The time to assert myself and compel influence was over. This is now my time to watch and rally for them from afar, witnessing their lives unfold with goodness and triumph, as well as pain and difficulty.

The profound truth grounding me is that my whole life and everything in it belongs to God. Whatever loss, feelings of control, or lack of trust I have experienced are nothing compared to the fulfillment and purpose I have experienced giving them up. All that is good, worthwhile, and beneficial in my life is from the one who asked me to give it all to Him.

How has the act of letting go reshaped your understanding of your role as a parent or mentor?

Share your story in the comments below!