Dreadlocks, Devotion, and Destiny: A Living Symbol of Commitment

I used to care a lot about what other people thought of me.

As a teenager, I was consumed with other people's opinions about how I looked, always wondering if I was "cool" enough. I pushed the limits and lived on the edge, dancing between the line of what was acceptable and what was challenged. I wanted to draw attention to myself and for people to think I was daring, yet I didn't want to be seen or noticed when I felt insecure or my poor self-image got the best of me. It was exhausting to constantly calculate the opinions of others and live accordingly.

I had a shaved-head punk hairstyle with the color of my hair changing weekly, but I had always wanted dreadlocks. There was a fraction of the crowd I associated with that were Rasta skate punks who listened to Ska. I had no idea why at the time, but I badly wanted to dread my hair into a full lion's mane and pile it up on my head in different ways.

It was a line I did not cross, however. My mother barely put up with my colorful shaved head, and no way would she allow dreadlocks. The private school I went to wouldn't allow it either.

My hairstyle has always reflected much of what is going on inside of me. Much more than clothing, shoes, or anything else, my hairstyle has always been pretty important to me. I've grown my hair long and cut it short more times than I can count. I've done some pretty radical things and made some dramatic decisions with my hair. I have had multiple perms and countless disasters with cuts and colors, and I know most of the tricks to fixing botches.

I have always had the attitude that hair is temporary and can always grow out. Like my life, sometimes I have lived with the consequences of a bad hair decision for years. But there are always second chances and renewal that have given me the ability to start over.

The Dreadlock Dilemma

I read all about how to get them done, how to care for them, and what the downsides were. I searched all over Phoenix, Arizona, for a professional dreadlock installer and called multiple places. As soon as they heard my voice, they asked if I was Caucasian. When I said yes, they said they didn't work with my kind of hair. I visited many locticians and was met with some disdain.

Finally, one stylist said I had no business getting dreadlocks because it was cultural appropriation. This really bothered me. I let it discourage me for a while until I caught a vision of all the terra cotta and black Greek vases with paintings of the heroes and Olympian gods with their long dreadlocks.

Amazons and Ancient Roots

I started researching ancient cultures and dreadlocks and saw that not only the ancient Greeks but also the Hebrews locked their hair. Famously, Samson had six locks that, while he was sleeping, Delilah cut off from him, and his strength drained from him. I saw a trend that warrior men and women famous for battle had dreadlocks. I remembered my dad telling me when I was a little girl about the Amazon women of ancient Greece who cut one breast off to be better archers and that they were famous horsewomen who seemed to be one with their horses.

I began to research the Amazon women and how one ancient historian took a ship up into what is today northern Turkey, met the tribe of women, and learned about their culture. When he returned to Athens, he wrote all about them, and the tales of these single-breasted women with long, wild, locked hair spread quickly. Legend has it that a large group of men went up north to capture the women, who mounted their horses and fled up into today's Crimea along the Black Sea.

Some historians have concluded that the Amazon women are the ancestors of the brave and mighty Cossacks who are incredible horsemen. Ancient gravesites in Crimea have been found with women showing injury to the ribs around the left breast, buried with their horses.

I first learned about the Cossack people when I did a research paper on artist Joseph Beuys in college. Beuys, a German fighter pilot, was struck down in WWII and was found frozen and nearly dead by the Cossack people, who sacrificed their horse by cutting it open and stuffing Beuys inside to revive him from the cold. Beuys lived among the Tartan/Cossacks until he was able to regain strength and go home. The humanity of the Cossack people outlived the fierceness of their warfare.

In my many trips to Ukraine, volunteering with artists, I learned even more about the Cossack people and felt deeply connected. They were fiercely devoted to the concept of individual liberty and a culture of freedom, while they were never without their horse. As I pored through pages and pages of history, following every rabbit trail I could find linking horses, freedom, a warrior spirit, and ancient heroes with their fierce locks, I proudly and most passionately decided to appropriate this incredible lineage of culture and the connection to dreadlocks.

I began looking for a salon in Phoenix that specialized in dreadlock installation for Caucasian hair types. I found only one. Their website gave me a check in my soul as I read through their mission statements. I didn't feel comfortable with the ceremony around the locks and the associated beliefs that the hair itself had power. That didn't jibe with me, and I felt like it was more of a symbol for me than anything literal. I wanted dreadlocks but had nowhere to go. I didn't fit into any of the existing cultures I could see.

After a few months of research and lots of YouTube videos, I asked my daughters and Esther, who was living with us at the time, if they would be willing to give me dreadlocks. I bought the tools and showed them how it was supposed to be done. We watched chick flicks all day while the four of them spent the next eight hours installing my dreadlocks.

At this time in my career, I was in a major transition where I had decided to take on partners in order to grow. Up until this time, I did everything alone with John's help behind the scenes. I wanted to take the school online and be able to reach more people with the message of freedom to live out their destiny, passionately pursuing a career in art. I could tell that, somehow, getting these dreadlocks was related.

A Journey of Growth

I had this hairstyle for three years as I filmed the Mastery Program for our online audience. I did a lot of public speaking and teaching abroad. I met many people around the world from all walks of life. I noticed I often had to overcome an initial pre-judgment to establish that I was a successful professional. Whether I was meeting with accountants or lawyers, department heads from academic institutions, pastors, business leaders, podcasters, or publishers, I had to quickly win them over and assert confidence and professionalism.

I started to dress more professionally, get my nails done, and wear makeup consistently. From the neck down, I was all business, and from the neck up, Amazon woman. I enjoyed the challenge and found a serendipity that kept me on my toes and positioned me as an underdog to prove myself. I had to win with my words quickly. I found this gave me an edge of surprise and consistently exceeding people's expectations. It also weeded out the people who cannot see past appearances to what is most important.

By October 2020, I, unfortunately, had to cut off my dreadlocks because of COVID-19 and not being able to get professional maintenance. I again had short hair and immediately felt like another person. I never felt like myself or comfortable without my locks. I felt like I walked around in disguise and had to overcome the insecurity of how I looked.

Like my hair, I lived through three years of transition and growth to become who I needed to be to enter the next phase of business. My hair and I experienced healthy, strong expansion and deepening of roots. We relocated to Florida, really focused our goals and energy, and broadened our team.

Even months before the move to Florida, I noticed from multiple accounts on Instagram that there were many salons in St. Pete that specialized in dreadlocks. These were people who weren’t arrogant or judgmental. Nor were they ceremonial or religious. Just a lot of women with expressive hair locked up with adornments and jewels, and skin covered in tattoos. I knew it was only a matter of time until I would rejoin the adventure of dreadlocks again.

Samson's Vow

Two months ago, I had a new set installed—professionally this time—and got 50 dreadlocks. A few weeks ago, I was back for first-month maintenance and met a man who sat in the salon chair getting his dreads, which he had had his whole life, tidied up. I was amazed that he had never known his hair loose and had never really lost a single hair. Every hair he had ever grown was still with him. I was fascinated.

He overheard me telling my technician all about my dread story. She heard about the difficulty I had the first time getting them done, about my research and the Cossacks and the Amazon women, and ancient Greeks on the pots, and Samson and Delilah. As soon as I mentioned Samson, the man began to speak and said, "Yes, Samson has such strength embodied in his hair because he took a Nazarite vow."

I was immediately curious. A Nazarite vow must have something to do with Jesus, who was a Nazarene. But Samson preceded Jesus, so how is this so?

I asked, "Can you please tell me more about the Nazarite vow and how that relates to dreadlocks?" "Oh yes, my pleasure. We see the Nazarite vow in Numbers, where it talks about the person's decision to devote himself fully to the service of God. In order to fulfill his vow, the person must not cut his hair or drink wine. This is a sign of devotion."

"Jesus was a Nazarene. Does that mean he took this vow?" I asked.

"No, Jesus was from Nazareth but not a Nazarite. John the Baptist was born into the Nazarite vow and lived out his life in dedication to God. But Jesus drank wine, and it was never mentioned that he took this vow. Delilah cut Samson's hair, which he had spent his whole life growing in order to fulfill his vow and have his hair cut before the priests. Samson allowed himself to be seduced by her and therefore lost his strength."

A Renewed Commitment

I thought about myself and wondered, “Was this the beginning of a new adventure of devotion and commitment?” His words really resonated with me. I have thought about the art movement and how I have committed my life to this cause. Like the Cossacks, I am contending for personal liberty and a culture of artists and art patrons who will guarantee our future freedom. I feel utterly devoted to God, who I believe placed this destiny in my heart and fashioned me for this cause.

As God knows every single hair on my head and has counted each of them, and not one of them is lost but only growing in number, so is this community within the art movement. Every day, my hair reminds me of my focus and my dedication. What I hope for and stretch towards. This living symbol that is attached to me, a part of me, that will bind me to my commitment and the devotion of my heart for God and for artists.

Can you see the stories from your journey coming together to form a sense of devotion that will guide your life?

Share your insights in the comments!