Spinning Plates: Navigating Life's Obstacles with Grit

I remember when I first began almost "adulting." I was around 21 years old and finishing college. John and I had saved all year to take our first trip to Greece together. We planned to travel for two months all around the islands and had saved to buy a moped to get around on. Up to this point, I had studied for finals, worked to put art shows together, moved across the country from Hawaii to college, traveled abroad a few times, and felt like I had lived a bit for someone my age. But planning this trip and preparing to leave for two months was overwhelming.

I felt like I was spinning far too many plates and everything felt out of control. I had to finish my projects in school, pack everything, leave the house ready to be vacant for two months, find places for my two dogs, make sure we had our paperwork in order, and get a ride to the airport.

I made checklists, constantly vented to whoever would listen about all my stress, and lost sleep over the fear of forgetting something. I felt in over my head and like I couldn't handle one more thing.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

When I look back now, I think how ridiculous I was. The planning, orchestrating, and doing were literally nothing! Today, I could spin that plate with my eyes closed.

In my early years, I seemed to stress over the smallest things. I wanted everything perfect. I wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything. I had a lot of fear about being capable and able. But somehow, all through my life since I can remember, I pushed myself at whatever threshold I stood at to do more, have more, or go further. Since my earliest memories, I have wanted to fill space to the max - fill a schedule, fill a suitcase, fill my plate, and then add more plates. I'm the 'my cup is never full' girl.

When I was a child and off to spend the day at my grandma's house, I didn't want to be bored and would fill a bag with things to do and projects. I brought every art supply I owned, every crayon, loose paper, and scissors, and then I brought books—not just one book, but multiple books—protecting myself from even one minute of boredom or empty space. I have been a doer since the beginning of time.

Overcoming Life's Obstacles

I spent my 20s stressing and my 30s self-examining. I was 33 years old with four children under the age of seven, and I felt like every plate I spun would shatter. It was beyond bearable. I thought about stopping all the insanity and pulling my way back from everything. Simplify my life. Stop achieving. Just rest and do as little as possible.

I would wonder, "Why am I this way? What am I avoiding? What am I escaping? Am I a classic workaholic? Am I trying to prove something?" I dug into my childhood. I took a long, hard look at my daddy issues. I questioned everything I could find.

When I thought about pulling back and doing as little as possible, it felt terrible to me. It didn't feel like a relief. I felt lost. I felt like I was missing out, like life would happen all around me, but I couldn't join in. I saw my destiny twirl about me while I stood lifeless and lost. I didn't want to sit on the sidelines. I wrestled with all the popular talk of self-care and work-life balance. If I disagreed with these fashionable thoughts, was I headed for burnout?

Embracing the Hustle

By the end of my 30s, heading into my 40s, I was tired of the roller coaster of stop, start, work, rest, restart, stop, guilt, and obligation, and I had yet to feel settled and at peace. After a decade of questioning myself, trying every balanced schedule and time management advice I could find, and reading countless books on striving, I made a final decision. I was going ALL IN!

I decided, first and foremost, that I am ME. I'm not her, and I'm not them. I have my own unique destiny and calling, and it requires a lot of hustle. And guess what? I LOVE to hustle. I'm at my best when I'm busy and things are flying all around me. I'm a turbo tornado, and I like it! I decided to embrace myself and never question how much I work again. I decided I wasn't headed for burnout if Monday was my favorite day of the week.

Eliminating Energy Drainers

I made a list of all the things on my schedule I didn't like, and that sucked me dry. Teaching children (YES, that's right! I don't like it, and I don't feel guilty about it either!), emails, website management, admin, taxes, spreadsheets, cleaning, church, drama, stretching canvas, and some friendships. I immediately eliminated everything on my list that I could and circled the things that I would work to eliminate. I made a goal to craft my life into only doing what I wanted to do, and that brought me energy and joy.

It took a few years, but I slowly eliminated everything that held me back and stressed me out. Then something shocking happened. I could spin a lot more plates. I mean, a whole lot more. I was doing more than I ever dreamed and loving it.  felt like I wasn't doing things in my own strength anymore. My life increased to the point that all the plate spinning wasn't just manageable; they seemed to spin on their own, and I touched a few with my finger now and then. Something powerful beyond me was at work. I didn't feel this freedom until I eliminated everything that drained my life force.

More Spinning Plates

This week is probably one of the most eventful weeks of my life. I'm prepping for my immersive art exhibition, "Song of Songs," at the Milan Art Gallery this Friday and Saturday. My schedule is packed with adding the final touches to my new paintings, the last little details for the show, prepping for this week's workshop, attending meetings, mentoring, packing for my trip to Zurich, and moving into a new house on the day of my show! The number of plates spinning around me is too many to count. I've stopped counting and looking.

I just step out each day and do my best work. I wake up before the sun, work out, ride my horse, and stay away from time wasters. I'm driven by my vision and am very blessed to have the best people around me. I don't feel stressed at all, and my Oura ring confirms it!

A Life of Intention and Action

Looking back, I have no regrets, but if I could talk to my younger self, I would tell 30-year-old Elli, "You are not those ladies at church. You don't have to be coiffed or a stay-at-home mom. You don't have to do your kids' science fair project, and you don't have to make them lunch with a special note inside. You are YOU! You can trust your heart. Your heart knows what it wants. You saw your destiny. Your dreams were given to you so that you could achieve them. You are NOT just a dreamer. You are NOT thinking too big. You are NOT a troublemaker, and it's fantastic that you stir the pot! This is YOUR life to live, and you can fill your cup, bag, plate, and schedule as much as you want."

"If only I took it easy, rested more, held back, shrunk myself, and watched from a distance," said NO ONE ever.

Can you recall a moment when you felt overwhelmed by life's demands but found strength in your unique abilities?

Share your story in the comments below!